And to Think They Were Just Getting Root Beer
by DatCrownedProblemSolver
Summary: Problem Solverz New Year's Eve special one-shot! Happy New Year's, everyone!


Horace walked outside in the cold Winter air and put up the annual "Happy New Year's Eve!" sign, which also said that they wouldn't solve problems on both New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.

Alfe walked out after Horace, following him.

"I don't understand why we don't solve problems at this time of the year," Alfe said to Horace.

"Well, Alfe, it is a holiday," Horace replied. "Besides, who would have problems on New Year's?"

"Somebody could spill their champagne."

"...Then they'd clean it up."

"Then they wouldn't have any more champagne."

"Well, champagne costs more than what we get paid for solving one problem...It doesn't make sense to buy champagne that costs over twenty dollars for them and get paid fifteen dollars back."

"Yeah, whatever." Alfe went back towards the door. "I'm going inside."

"I'm coming with you," Horace replied.

Horace and Alfe went inside and, to their horror, saw a broken bottle of root beer on the floor.

"...I-I broke the root beer bottle," Roba said in his robot-esque voice.

"WHAT?! Roba! You know that drinking root beer on New Year's is a tradition!" Alfe yelled.

"Sorry," Roba replied. "It slipped out of my hands."

"Alfe, we can just get some more root beer," Horace said. "If the stores are open."

Alfe rolled his eyes. "You say that like they're _not_ open."

"Well, they probably aren't. But we won't know unless we go, right?"

"Sure we will," Alfe replied. "We can use Alfe Science to find out." Somehow, big letters displaying the words "Alfe Science" appeared over Alfe's head.

"Alfe Science isn't even a real form of science!" Roba yelled.

"You're not real!" Alfe yelled back.

Horace facepalmed himself. "Guys, we should hurry," Horace said, putting his coat on.

"Fine," Alfe replied.

* * *

The town of Farboro was more colorful than the flashing lights that could cause seizures. Some houses and buildings still had their Christmas decorations up.

"Those people are lazy," Alfe said.

"Who?" asked Roba.

"The people who keep up their Christmas decorations past Christmas."

"Meh, kinda," Roba replied, shrugging as he walk along with Horace and Alfe.

"I mean, shouldn't they be putting up New Year's decorations?"

"...There's not as much New Year's decorations as there are Christmas decorations, Alfe," Horace said.

"Whatever."

Alfe, Horace and Roba got to a grocery store that was open at about 10:30 PM.

"Hello, boys," the grocery store cashier said. "I'm closing up soon, so make your purchases quick!" He said this with a cheerful tone in his voice.

Roba went over to the soda aisle and got a bottle of root beer. He went back to Horace and Alfe and they went to pay for their drink.

"...You're buying root beer on New Year's Eve?" the cashier asked, with a less-cheerful tone in his voice.

"Yeah," Alfe replied.

The cashier, for whatever reason, pulled up a gun. "No. It's champagne only on New Year's."

Horace, Alfe and Roba backed up. "Woah, woah, be cool, man," Alfe said. "We prefer root beer."

"No, you don't." The cashier shot up at the ceiling. "YOU PREFER CHAMPAGNE, BITCH!"

Alfe picked up the bottle of root beer and smashed the cashier on the head with it, bringing him to the ground.

"LET'S GO!" Horace yelled, and just before they ran out of the store, Roba threw money at the cashier, paying for the root beer.

* * *

"Man! What was that guy's deal?" Horace asked, when they got home at about 11:00 PM.

"Maybe he was so tired of his crappy job, he went carzy," Alfe replied.

"...'Carzy?'" Roba asked. "It's pronouced 'crazy.'"

"Nah, it's pronouced like that because the dude probably worked as a car's salesman before now."

Roba facepalmed himself.

"Well, hey, he's probably right," Horace added.

Roba rolled his eyes. "No, he's not...We should report that man to the police, though."

"That's boring," Alfe replied.

Suddenly, the shattering of broken glass was heard.

It was the cashier.

"YOU PREFER CHAMPAGNE, BITCH!"

Horace and Roba screamed, while Alfe just sat there.

They, including Alfe, eventually got up and ran away with the root beer in tow. They ran out to the forests surrounding their home and hid behind trees.

"Man! We're getting murdered. This is the best New Year's ever," Alfe said.

"We're not getting murdered," Roba replied. "We're getting lectured by a man who wants to sell his champagne to us."

Another shot was heard. Horace glanced over to find the cashier shooting at squirrels.

"Stupid Canadian cartoons," he muttered as he shot a squirrel.

Horace shrugged as he wondered what Canadian cartoons had to do with it. But then again, Canadian cartoons were never that great anyways.

"Guys, we can escape if we run now," Horace whispered. Roba nodded in response and ran along with Horace, Alfe following them.

* * *

They eventually got away from the shooter for good at about 11:50 PM, ten minutes to January 1st, 2013.

"Guys," Alfe whispered. "This is seriously the best New Year's Eve ever."

"...I know," Horace replied, smirking. "Roba, what was your favorite part of the year?"

"When our show got canceled," Roba quietly said. Alfe burst out laughing as if he was drunk on root beer already. They all shared a laugh together.

"...Well, can I just say that our show got canceled in 2011, not 2012?!" Horace yelled, laughing.

"Oh, yeah," Roba replied, laughing along with him.

It was now 11:59 PM, with one more minute to go. Alfe got ready to open the root beer, and Horace and Roba counted down the seconds they had until 2013 finally begun.

"Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two..."

Alfe had his grip on the bottle of root beer tighter, preparing to turn the bottle cap to open it.

"ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Horace and Roba yelled while Alfe was getting fizzed up root beer all over his face.

"HAHAHA! ALFE, LOOK WHAT ALL THE RUNNING DID!" Roba yelled.

"THIS IS WHY EXERCISE IS BAD," Alfe yelled back.

* * *

And so, that is how New Year's Eve went for The Problem Solverz this year, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you had a great New Year's Eve as well and also that that one particularly annoying member of the family got root beer in their face.

Happy New Year's, and to all a great 2013.


End file.
